Well its been a emotional couple of days for me. Yesterday I went to the Dr for the results of the CT scan that I already knew were abnormal but just figured it was no big deal. Well the Dr said that my liver and spleen are very enlarged and gave me a bunch of reasons why it could be so after 6 tubes of blood and peeing in a cup again I left the office more confused than when I arrived. I have to see aspecialist on Wed. Its so hard here as I dont know any of the Drs like who is good. As a nurse I know this can be serious or it could be something simple and trust me I am praying its something simple. I know God allows us to go through things to make us stronger but Idont think I want to be any stronger. Last night I woke up at 2am and burst into tears thinking of all the what ifs,I am scared,nervous,and want Wed to get hear and the bloodwork to get back so we know what is going on.I know God is the great healer and if its his will he will take all this away.
The good thing is I had all normal blood work at my phyical in early Sept,and I dont have many symptoms other than a little fatique.And a little pain in my left rib cage probably from the enlarged spleen.I have to wonder why at times God allows things to happen ,I start asking am I not faithful enough,do I not pray enough,am Inot living as God wants me to hmmm not sure anymore . All I know is my heart is heavy and it makes me realize that in a second my life could be changed forever, it makes me stop and realize what is important in life,its not a perfect job or big house or things no its the people you love.I am praying this is just being caused by a virus .Everywhere I go at church ,in my mentoring class,at the Chonda Pierce concert we are all talking about being real letting others see out hurts and fears,well I am being real I dont want to hear anymore bad news I am askingyou all to pray pray pray for me that the results from the labs will be something simple.Pray God will give me rest over the next few days as they try to figure all this out.Love you all ,pray with out ceasing thats what I will be doing,,