Well it was a very long week waiting to see the specialist and its funny how much we lean on the Lord when we are put in a tough spot. My goal is to lean on God more even when I am not in a tough spot. I had wonderful news that this was most likely caused by a virus and resolve on its own in 2-6 months, praise God I was scared it was something serious.
I completed my mentoring class last night and the whole study was on the Titus 2 woman so at the end of class they gave us a book Becoming a Titus 2 woman yikes!!! Me strong willed,independent,career woman Oh dear this is going to be a stretch but I know God has a lesson for me if I open my heart to listen. I will be excited to have my first mentee actually think I have been a mentor many times. This will be a more formal approach.I am excited to come along side another woman and be a encouragement.
Today is another crossroads kinda day I have to decide if I want to stay at the nursing home or move on. It has been such a bittersweet experience there love my residents and the joy they bring me each day, Hate all the garbage that goes on there,I feel so overworked,and I am physically exhausted at the end of my 12 hour shift and still feel like I hardly had anytime with some of the residents 30 residents to one nurse is alot.So I am praying for direction and wisdom to know what to do.
I am missing my NY family and friends alot and really miss Patty and Lori my best buds..I have met people here and I love my COM group but don't really have anyone to go do things with except Sarah and she does not want to hang with me all the time... Lily does though ..I know I just need to be more aggressive and call people.. Well that's about it for now.Hope to have a GREAT GREAT DAY!!!

A test of faith

Well its been a emotional couple of days for me. Yesterday I went to the Dr for the results of the CT scan that I already knew were abnormal but just figured it was no big deal. Well the Dr said that my liver and spleen are very enlarged and gave me a bunch of reasons why it could be so after 6 tubes of blood and peeing in a cup again I left the office more confused than when I arrived. I have to see aspecialist on Wed. Its so hard here as I dont know any of the Drs like who is good. As a nurse I know this can be serious or it could be something simple and trust me I am praying its something simple. I know God allows us to go through things to make us stronger but Idont think I want to be any stronger. Last night I woke up at 2am and burst into tears thinking of all the what ifs,I am scared,nervous,and want Wed to get hear and the bloodwork to get back so we know what is going on.I know God is the great healer and if its his will he will take all this away.
The good thing is I had all normal blood work at my phyical in early Sept,and I dont have many symptoms other than a little fatique.And a little pain in my left rib cage probably from the enlarged spleen.I have to wonder why at times God allows things to happen ,I start asking am I not faithful enough,do I not pray enough,am Inot living as God wants me to hmmm not sure anymore . All I know is my heart is heavy and it makes me realize that in a second my life could be changed forever, it makes me stop and realize what is important in life,its not a perfect job or big house or things no its the people you love.I am praying this is just being caused by a virus .Everywhere I go at church ,in my mentoring class,at the Chonda Pierce concert we are all talking about being real letting others see out hurts and fears,well I am being real I dont want to hear anymore bad news I am askingyou all to pray pray pray for me that the results from the labs will be something simple.Pray God will give me rest over the next few days as they try to figure all this out.Love you all ,pray with out ceasing thats what I will be doing,,

October

Where has the time gone cant believe its been a month since I have written, Well God is still good and faithful and unfailing. We have not done much this fall just the normal ups and downs of life.I have been enjoying my mentoring class and have met some new people,I am excited that our small group is meeting again .Still working at the nursing home and still not sure if this is what I want to do but have come to realize it may be where God wants me right now.I have been having some health issues and ask that you all be inrayer that the Drs figure it all out.
Have been loving spending time with Gabe and Lily .Lily is like my side kick she always wants to come over,try to take her so Sarah can work at her business, she is doing a great job at it.She is selling stampin up now too,, she is so much like my mom crafty. go to skype with the NY kids and see Kailyn play her violin that was exciting and got to see the other two be silly man I love and miss those kids, I think they should move west...Dont think that will happen as Liz does not like the heat much..I have joined weight watcher and have lost 10 pounds this month well actually 9.74.We are enjoying cooler weather like in the 80s.Have really missed fall in NY this year.Well thats about it.May you all be blessed..